So, it looks like it’s time. I am starting
something new, and am not quite sure how long it will go for, how it will turn
out, but it’s an adventure, an experiment and a bit of a journey so will see,
hey?!
It has been bubbling along in the
background for quite a while now, in different ways. Someone I follow on the
‘social’s’ started sending out writing prompts late last year, and I started,
for a while, and yes, saw the benefit, but life got in the way, and is always
the case, other things took priority. I have long since known that I am better
at doing things for other people than for my pleasure, benefit and purpose, so
I will see how I go finding a way to make this work for me as well as you… just
as a learning exercise:)
I think this will be a place to share and
reflect on life from my perspective, and hopefully some interesting themes will
emerge. A lot of this will be an exercise in processing, reflecting, thinking
about what God is teaching me, and wow has he taught me a lot this year. For
those who know the whole story, how may wonder how on earth that could be, but
trust me, it’s been quite the learning curve, one I wouldn’t change for
anything. I don’t think….
I was listening to a podcast last week and
a phrase came up in the conversation that I had been thinking about. Know your
why. It’s amazing what you can get done when you know your why-whether it’s
writing a blog, a job, task, relationship, you name it. I was thinking about
those times this year when I have done things for others, when I have done them
for myself. When I have done them because I wanted them so much NOW, while, surprisingly for me,
ignoring the consequences of what NEXT.
Now that has been challenging and told me so much about what I wanted and how very
much I wanted it. There have been times, moments(?!) when I have known my why,
and been able to hold off and say no, keeping the big picture in mind, but wow
it was hard when faced with something that I didn’t know I wanted that much. It
was quite a wakeup call.
So I have been having some great
conversations with God. I have been getting specific, really specific and
challenging myself to work out what I want in life, what those desires of my
heart really are and how to ask for them. Not in a ‘if it’s your will, God’
kinda way, but in a ‘God, bring the breakthrough for what I want. Open the
doors for this situation’. And you know what? God has been answering! And he's been so kind,
and faithful, and it’s not going my way, but it really is better(well, I'm pretty sure..!). I don’t know
the final outcome or have a conclusion wrapped up in a bright bow, but I know him and
myself better, and am learning to ask better questions, to trust and wait, and
wait. And believe the best. I am also learning more about knowing my why, my
reason for being, for my attitude towards prayer, for praying for people,
situations and circumstances, and that has been fun. It isn’t a perfect journey
by any means, but it is good. I have been reminded a lot of King David
recently, and again, heard a talk about him last weekend- how not perfect was he,
and yet he was a man after God’s own heart, and when confronted with what he
has done wrong he runs to God- with all of it, and not away, and I am so challenged
by that. How often do we hide it, pretend it’s nothing or run away from God
rather that too him with all of ourselves. That I, we, can bring all of who we are to God
knowing that he sees and knows us, our heart, intentions and loves us in and through
the journey of it all. He’s got us!
Here’s to knowing our why and having a lot of
adventures along the way!
